Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Now for Plan B

The last post absolutely shows the way I've approached the process of dieting, since time began. I heard I weighed "6 to 7lbs." at birth, so at one time in my life there was no weight problem. So what happened? How did I manage to become one of the millions of obese people in America???

My mind was fully engaged in the process. A day was set aside for the traditional "last binge", as if I were living in exile in the wilderness for the next year. I even had a new diet to try that would surely be the one that would cure this problem forever. That's a huge "NOT" or "NICHT". When I heard that one was contemplating a new diet, I always interpreted that as eat all you can to get the cravings out of your system. My mind made all the calls in a "Top Down Management" style and my body was basically kicked right into diet boot camp.

I aborted one failed attempt at weight loss last summer when I rejoined Weight Watchers, AGAIN! After reading two chapters of "The Four Day Win", I felt that this was enough contemplation or pre-contemplation and I was ready to get my rear in gear to lose layers of insulation. Why did that attempt fail? Did I get confused about the points? Was the orientation and explanation poorly handled? I want to say, "Yes" to save face.

However, being the authentic person that I try to be, I must admit that I literally yanked my body into a WW meeting and let my inner dictator loose to scold me for letting my body get this way again. "All right," snarled that voice in my head,"here we go again. Look at yourself. Why can't you just get it right this time? " That was definitely a set up for failure.

What's different about this attempt?? It's as if I bought a new flashlight. As I read the book, instead of going home and trying another diet, I ate what I wanted and gave my body the time and freedom needed to "join up" and become part of the process. My " essential self" was beginning to come on the scene. I want a body without layers of insultation. However, my body needed the time to "buy into" the process. My "social self" is very well developed. I have a skilled inner "task master" or "dictator" that definitely wants to shame, scold, control and call all of the shots. Now my body is going after what it wants instead of my mind calling all of the shots. This seems like nothing earth shattering, but the difference it made is huge. This feels right and I'm not feeling deprived, shamed, or anything negative. I'm going for the same goal, but with a whole different mindset or going down the path with a much "brighter flashlight". Stay tuned.

No comments: