Last Day Before I Start My New Weight Loss Plan

October 2, 2007

Today will be the last day in a long time that I will allow myself to eat what I want to eat when I want to eat it. Of course, this calls for a night of bingeing to get in those last bites of chocolate, peanut butter, ice cream, cake, crackers, BREAD. I'm not sure why bingeing should be a ritual before the start of a new "life style eating change" (politically correct word for dieting), but I'm in charge and that's the best way for me to gain control of what I feed my body.

I wish I could tell you that this is the first time that I have ever started a diet. It would be so nice to ponder what dieting (OOPS! New Life Style Dining or whatever) will be like. It should be simple. I bought a book called "Eat to Live" by Joel Fuhrman. His philosophy is bring on the lettuce. If it's a vegetable and is green, then I may eat as much of it as I want. I should even throw in fresh fruit, a few nuts, and I will be able to eat to my heart's content. I joined a gym, so I'm set. This should be easy. True? I know what to eat and I've arranged to exercise, so this will be a success. I'll be featured in some magazine as a success story.

I will do it. I have to lose those 70 pounds. I'm so sick of looking like this. I can't believe I let myself get this big. I can't bear to look in the mirror or go into a dressing room. I totally made a mess of things.