Monday, November 12, 2007

Test Message

Hi There Cutie!
Cute picture! Hugable!

Sunday, October 7, 2007

About "Bartering"

Yes, when I think of the word barter, the word delegate immediately strikes. Wouldn't the world be a better place, if we could hire an assistant to get our bodies in shape for us? I wish I could find a way to arrange for this out of personal interest and the desire to make billions.

It just doesn't work that way when it comes to getting our bodies in shape or when we're trekking to wellness, health and becoming thin. So how does
"bartering" relate to personal responsibility for losing weight, getting in shape?

IMHO, this is what I've come up with. I've explained in the last posts about getting my body involved in the process. Instead of making this all about my "social" self being a mental control freak; my body is ready to happily assume the responsibility. I don't necessarily hop out of bed and say, "Whoopee, I'm heading to the gym". Still not there yet. But on the other hand, I don't whittle the day away with so many other things that the time to exercise evaporates. My body willingly gives up an hour to an hour and a half every day to cardio and strengthening. I'm certainly not ready to be anyone's personal trainer or to train for a marathon. However, the good news is that I haven't stopped going to the gym. After three weeks, I can proudly say that I'm a regular. Have I lost the 70 pounds yet? Nope. However, giving the body a chance to rule the day has kept me in the game and even though I don't want to make all this about losing weight. The "Four Day Win" philosophy, developed by Dear Dr. Beck, is about transformation of any habit, practice, etc. The book just happens to apply it to weight loss. It's not about transforming the scale.

Okay, now that I've finished that preamble, I am walking around with eight less pounds. I weigh every Saturday just to make adjustments, if the scale is going up or stays the same. The scale is just another source of information.....not something to become depressed over, cursed over, thrown across the room, etc. I go for clothes fit more than the scale now to determine if my body's decisions are working.

So bottom line, let your body do the work...give it time to get ready. No hesitation about "Contemplation"!

Saturday, October 6, 2007

"Must" & "Have To" Lead to Quitting

My last post clarified that a binge or mentally beating myself up just aren't compatible with a "life style change" or okay reality dictates that I say "diet". I'm still stuck on that word. So what's different this time, I didn't go for the "Huge Goal" on the first day. I can't drive from California to New York in one day, at least not safely.
Having the goal in my head that "I must lose 70 pounds" is partially true. The word "must" is the lie. I don't have to do anything. I can make a choice to do something, but "have to" "must" are just words that shut me down. Instead I learned that my journey to my North Star is about "bagging it" "bartering it" or "bettering it".
"It's in my best interest to lose 70 pounds" is more authentic and honest. That's one way of "BETTERING IT". This is not about a 50ish woman being able to wear a bikinni to the beach to play volleyball next summer. It really is about HEALTH AND WELLNESS! Just a simple reframe made a difference on how I view this "life style change".
In the past, my essential self, the part of me that usually shuts down would act out and sabatoge the attempt to shed a few pounds. I'm definitely acquinted with the "BAGGING IT". I bought a mix and made brownies to mail to one of my sons. By the time I mailed the Brownies, there were about a dozen left to mail. No, I didn't eat the brownies. I sampled the batter to ensure that it was up to par and would yield the taste dividend that I had in mind. I won't explain what happened to the missing brownies.....I do believe that most of those choosing to lose weight know exactly what happened.
Next Post: Reframing the "Have To" "Must" with the idea of "Bartering It".

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Now for Plan B

The last post absolutely shows the way I've approached the process of dieting, since time began. I heard I weighed "6 to 7lbs." at birth, so at one time in my life there was no weight problem. So what happened? How did I manage to become one of the millions of obese people in America???

My mind was fully engaged in the process. A day was set aside for the traditional "last binge", as if I were living in exile in the wilderness for the next year. I even had a new diet to try that would surely be the one that would cure this problem forever. That's a huge "NOT" or "NICHT". When I heard that one was contemplating a new diet, I always interpreted that as eat all you can to get the cravings out of your system. My mind made all the calls in a "Top Down Management" style and my body was basically kicked right into diet boot camp.

I aborted one failed attempt at weight loss last summer when I rejoined Weight Watchers, AGAIN! After reading two chapters of "The Four Day Win", I felt that this was enough contemplation or pre-contemplation and I was ready to get my rear in gear to lose layers of insulation. Why did that attempt fail? Did I get confused about the points? Was the orientation and explanation poorly handled? I want to say, "Yes" to save face.

However, being the authentic person that I try to be, I must admit that I literally yanked my body into a WW meeting and let my inner dictator loose to scold me for letting my body get this way again. "All right," snarled that voice in my head,"here we go again. Look at yourself. Why can't you just get it right this time? " That was definitely a set up for failure.

What's different about this attempt?? It's as if I bought a new flashlight. As I read the book, instead of going home and trying another diet, I ate what I wanted and gave my body the time and freedom needed to "join up" and become part of the process. My " essential self" was beginning to come on the scene. I want a body without layers of insultation. However, my body needed the time to "buy into" the process. My "social self" is very well developed. I have a skilled inner "task master" or "dictator" that definitely wants to shame, scold, control and call all of the shots. Now my body is going after what it wants instead of my mind calling all of the shots. This seems like nothing earth shattering, but the difference it made is huge. This feels right and I'm not feeling deprived, shamed, or anything negative. I'm going for the same goal, but with a whole different mindset or going down the path with a much "brighter flashlight". Stay tuned.

Last Day Before I Start My New Weight Loss Plan

October 2, 2007
Today will be the last day in a long time that I will allow myself to eat what I want to eat when I want to eat it. Of course, this calls for a night of bingeing to get in those last bites of chocolate, peanut butter, ice cream, cake, crackers, BREAD. I'm not sure why bingeing should be a ritual before the start of a new "life style eating change" (politically correct word for dieting), but I'm in charge and that's the best way for me to gain control of what I feed my body.

I wish I could tell you that this is the first time that I have ever started a diet. It would be so nice to ponder what dieting (OOPS! New Life Style Dining or whatever) will be like. It should be simple. I bought a book called "Eat to Live" by Joel Fuhrman. His philosophy is bring on the lettuce. If it's a vegetable and is green, then I may eat as much of it as I want. I should even throw in fresh fruit, a few nuts, and I will be able to eat to my heart's content. I joined a gym, so I'm set. This should be easy. True? I know what to eat and I've arranged to exercise, so this will be a success. I'll be featured in some magazine as a success story.

I will do it. I have to lose those 70 pounds. I'm so sick of looking like this. I can't believe I let myself get this big. I can't bear to look in the mirror or go into a dressing room. I totally made a mess of things.